.... the Japanese has learned from childhood to submit to discipline. It is astonishing and, for the European, almost inconceivable how much time the Japanese spend in restraining and controlling gestures, which can at most be regarded as aesthetic faults.
Say someone slams the door in a temper. In the East this is not taken as a sign of character, the expression of a forceful personality, nor is it regarded as a lapse which should not be taken seriously.
Anyone who does such a thing will not, like the European, deem it justified by the situation, or excuse himself by saying that his feelings ran away with him. He will go back to the door, open it, close it softly, and say to it. 'I beg your pardon', Thereafter he will take care how he shuts doors.
Or perhaphs he has received a parcel. He tears it open impatiently and throws the string and paper away. Too late he remembers that he hast lost face by his impatience and curiosity. In future he will compose himself, carefully undo the string and wrapping, and put them aside, and only then examine the contents.
Or again, he is expecting an important letter. It arrives. How easy it is to yield to the impulse to tear it open and hastily scan it. So he condemns himself to laying the letter aside and turning to something else until he has conquered his haste, and the letter is forgotten. When he sets his hand to it later, he opens it as though the envelope were something precious.
Eugen Herrigel: The Method of Zen
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