I can't deal with my feelings

I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I have used substances to control and kill my emotions and my insecurities and my rage for my entire life. I have spent the bulk of my existence using alcohol and drugs to destroy what I feel so I wouldn't have to feel it. (...) I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I can't deal with my feelings.

James Frey
My Friend Leonard