On Clinging

Santa Cruz do Sul, 15 January 2025

One of the things I'm clinging to is the belief that one can only change one's life on a special day. Needless to say, I regard this belief to be utterly stupid and so you can easily imagine my surprise tnat I got sober on  Monday, 1 January 1990, and quit smoking on 9/9/1999 – yes, the 9 has always been special to me, I was born in September.

What I consider plausible, logical and making sense is a manifestation of my thinking, it has often little to do with how the world operates. Yet since I'm conditioned to my way of thinking, I haven't the foggiest idea of how to let go of it. I still believe that the next important change in my life needs to happen on a special day such as Easter, Christmas or my birthday.

I know that every day is a special day yet I do not understand it for understanding is a feeling. How can I transform my knoweldge into a feeling, I wonder. By taking action, of course, by doing what I know needs to be done. So how come I do not do it? Because I do not want to change.

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Well, sometimes I do because not letting go is too painful. And, an insight like this helps: "Life got sweeter when I realized the magic behind childhood wasn't because I was a child, it was because I was present." To be present is the only thing I need to learn. And, I'm willing.