The Merton Prayer

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. 

I do not see the road ahead of me. 

I cannot know for certain where it will end. 

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. 

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. 

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. 

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. 

Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. 

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton: Thoughts in Solitude.

Discipline

Children need discipline to feel secure; so do adults.

Discipline means understanding there are logical consequences to our behavior. Discipline means taking responsibility for our behavior and the consequences.

Discipline means learning to wait for what we want.

Discipline means being willing to work for and toward what we want.

Discipline means learning and practicing new behaviors.

Discipline means being where we need to be, when we need to be there, despite our feelings.

Discipline is the day to day performing of tasks, whether these are recovery behaviors or washing the dishes.

Discipline involves trusting that our goals will be reached though we cannot see them.

Discipline can be grueling. We may feel afraid, confused, and uncertain. Later, we will see the purpose. But this clarity of sight usually does not come during the time of discipline. We may not even believe we're moving forward. But we are.

The task at hand during times of discipline is simple: listen, trust, and obey.

Im Zeitalter des Wahnsinns

Das gegenwärtige Zeitalter ist wahnsinnig. Es ist besessen von einem Gefühl der Ortlosigkeit, einem Verlust an persönlicher Identität, einem Wechsel zwischen Sentimentalität und Wut, was man bei einem Patienten als Wahnsinn bezeichnen könnte. 

Walker Percy (1916-1990)

Feelings and Surrender

Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience. 

Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience. 

Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings - anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. As we surrender, we experience our frustration and anger at God, at other people, at ourselves, and at life. Then we come to the core of the pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come out before we can feel good.

 Often, these emotions are connected to healing and release at a deep level. Surrender sets the wheels in motion. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we surrender. We are protected. We are guided. 

Good things have been planned. The next step is now being taken. Surrender is the process that allows us to move forward. It is how our Higher Power moves us forward. Trust in the rightness of timing, and the freedom at the other end, as you struggle humanly through this spiritual experience.